If I May…

Apparently, my previous post has caused some problems. Apparently, some people have missed the point. If I may, I would like to clear up the confusion.

First, let’s give some background: a lot happened between “Summer!” and “Goodbye, My Love” (the post this is all about), and one of the things that happened can really only be described as that my girlfriend broke up with me (“A Glimpse” kinda hints at what was going on here). That’s not entirely accurate, and there’s a lost more to it, but you get the idea. Anyway, it’s been a rather rough thing to go through. It was a pretty serious relationship that I was 100% committed to. But that’s not what this post is about.

The point of this post is to explain the point of my previous post. Titled “Goodbye, My Love,” it was a love letter to Summer. Unfortunately, some people got the idea that, in Summer, I was talking about the girl I’d been in a relationship with, and in reading it that way, they were (I’d imagine – all I’ve heard is that people got the wrong idea.) quite surprised to read the bit that goes

“Memories of nights we spent together will stay with me forever. The feel of sweat of the sheets; the calming cool that a soft breath would bring.”

and were somewhat disturbed by it. I can understand that. I mean, that would be one heck of a steamy relationship. The only problem is… that’s not what I meant at all. It was a love letter to Summer, as in Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter. Sweaty sheets and hot nights have a much different meaning if you read it that way. That was how I intended it.

I imagine that there are two core issues that people are taking with this post. The first is probably people thinking that we had a relationship of that nature and her family worrying about how this could hurt her reputation. The second thing I can see is her and her family possibly thinking that I might have done this with the purpose to hurt her reputation in order to get back at her. Like I said, the breakup as been pretty hard on me. But nothing (and I mean it, nothing) could be further from the truth. First of all, we strove in every way to keep our relationship as pure as possible. We tried our hardest to never even be alone together unless it just couldn’t be avoided, which was very rare. Second, I still love her. We’re even (last time I checked, anyway) trying to maintain a friendship through this. I know that we can’t be together anymore. I don’t understand it, I don’t completely agree with it, and I definitely don’t like it, but I don’t have to. I just know that this is how things are, everything we had together is gone. But I still love her in ways other than the romantic “I love you” way. She is an amazing, Godly woman who I respect greatly (that’s why I’m trying to keep her as a friend). And for the the record, she is probably one of the most pure girls I know. I would never do anything to hurt her or to smear her reputation. In fact, if anyone else cares to try, I’ll be one of the first in line to do some rather unpleasant things to them. But no, “Goodbye, My Love” was not about anything other than the season we call Summer.

If you couldn’t tell, yes, some of the feeling in “Goodbye, My Love” is 100% real. That’s part of why I wrote it that way. It gave me somewhere to let those feeling out. But this post was really started just for fun. The weather here went from hot and sunny and very Summer-like to stormy and rainy in about two days. Things cleared up and the weather was fine for a day before we woke up to a chill. Fall has fallen quite quickly (overnight, in fact), and I do have a love affair with Summer, so I thought the analogy of  waking up to find my lover gone was appropriate. When I started writing, I had no thoughts of anything other than that. The feelings are real, but only because I know a little bit about what the pain of loss a like that feels like.

Writing generally reflects the experiences of the writer, whether intentionally or not. And I promise, any references to her are unintentional. I am truly sorry for any confusion “Goodbye, My Love” caused. Hopefully this post has cleared things up.


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